Before the internet.
So, so untrue. My life was super eventful before the internet. Or at least when the internet sucked. I mean, it took 15 minutes to sign on to Prodigy/AOL, and it was, what? $15/hour to use it? And all there was to do was chat with old perverts and look at news. I used to ride a bike, hang out with friends, exercise, go camping, dance, gee- all sorts of crazy things.
Then… the internet got good. And I got fat.