Yikes

I had a dream this morning that my boyfriend shot himself.  This is not like a boyfriend of four months that I don’t really like that much.  This is not someone who I argue with constantly.  This is my best friend of over ten years.  This is the guy who voluntarily took on the job of raising my special needs child.  This is the smartest, funniest guy I know.  I walked into the house and up the stairs after he had gone inside ahead of me.  There were some friends/family members in the living room. I heard a gunshot, and everyone started looking around frantic.  I ran across the house, saw him slumped over my piano, blood everywhere.  He mumbled something to me.  I don’t know how I didn’t wake up screaming in real life because I was freaking the fuck out.  I couldn’t go back to sleep.  It was four:fifty a.m. and I was actually almost happy to hear him snore because it meant he was alive.  #notawesome