Bad Day
I grab the gun from the bed
Tossing it across the room
Fighting him until I am sore the next day
To keep him from getting to it before I do
To keep him from unlocking the case
And equipping the chamber
With his last bad day.
suicide
Yikes
I had a dream this morning that my boyfriend shot himself. This is not like a boyfriend of four months that I don’t really like that much. This is not someone who I argue with constantly. This is my best friend of over ten years. This is the guy who voluntarily took on the job of raising my special needs child. This is the smartest, funniest guy I know. I walked into the house and up the stairs after he had gone inside ahead of me. There were some friends/family members in the living room. I heard a gunshot, and everyone started looking around frantic. I ran across the house, saw him slumped over my piano, blood everywhere. He mumbled something to me. I don’t know how I didn’t wake up screaming in real life because I was freaking the fuck out. I couldn’t go back to sleep. It was four:fifty a.m. and I was actually almost happy to hear him snore because it meant he was alive. #notawesome
I know a lot of creative people and perhaps by correlation I know a lot of people who struggle with depression. They have told me (and they’ve told the world) how depression sits there, implacable, and drains the color out of the world until no success or joy matters. I believe them, and it becomes increasingly evident that no matter who you are or what you’ve achieved, that depression is a good liar and can make you believe none of it matters.
I know and love too many people with depression to believe that it’s something that’s shameful to talk about or to acknowledge. I want them alive and I want them here with us. If you have depression I want you alive and here with us. Don’t let the moment take you. Don’t be afraid to get help. The people who love you want you here. Believe it.
No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
(via wilwheaton)
If you’ve never know the feeling of wanting to end your life, count your blessings and consider that you know someone out there who has. You never know when a kind word might make a world of difference. You never know when cruel words might be what tips the bucket. #marinate
Lots of numbers to call if you need help:
Helplines:
depression: 
1-630-482-9696
suicide: 1-800-784-8433
lifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
trevor project: 1-866-488-7386
sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743
eating disorders: 1-847-831-3438
rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673
grief support: 1-650-321-5272
runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
exhale; after abortion: 1-866-4394253
Depression
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore
Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)
National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000
Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS
NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632
Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET
Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357
Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999
Domestic Abuse
National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD:( 1-800-787-32324
Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504
Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722
Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse:( 1-800-477-4111
Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200
Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468
Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707
Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish:( 1-800-223-5001
Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish: 1-800-992-2600
Alcohol & Drug Abuse
National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)
National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker:( 1-800-344-2666
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237)
Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239
Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933
Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779
Youth & Teen Hotlines
National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663
Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454)
Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens:( 1-800-999-9999
Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000
Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900
TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336
Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009
Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential:( 1-800-231-6946
Child Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 1111
Kids Helpline (Australia) 1800 55 1800
Pregnancy Hotlines
AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717
Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466)
Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761
Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900
Gay and Lesbian Hotlines
The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems:( 1-800-850-8078
Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078
Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589
Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049
Other Hotlines
Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com
)
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST)
Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188
Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)
TalkZone (Peer Counselors:( 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855)
Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188
National AIDS Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 567 123
